Time to Reflect

Well, I have been back home for a few weeks now, and that has given me some time to think about my month long stay in Backwater Hell. There were many let-downs: mainly, nothing really ever changes...sadly. My father is still dependent upon my mother, my mother still tolerates my father's crap, my sister is still struggling to claim the number one spot for worst mother of the year, my older brother is still a racist, sexist, homophobe, my younger brother is still struggling with life in general, and my other sister is still the family recluse. But there were surprises as well: my parents genuinely like me as a person, I enjoyed hanging with my sister (the worst mother one) and she even taught me how to knit, my family uses me as a sounding board for their thoughts, fears, ideas, and hopes, and a go-between to relay difficult topics to others in the family.

But, despite all the positives, I still feel as if I don't quite fit. I don't live the life they live, we share very few commonalities in that respect. I have tried to find common likes to at least feel some connection with my family, but eventually our differences make it impossible. Sadly, there are only two of my family members that I feel any real need to communicate with, my mother and my younger brother, and if it weren't for them I doubt I would have any of them in my life. Its very difficult to associate with people that find fault in my accomplishments, and my mom and little brother are the only ones that seem proud of me. So, why should I put in the effort?

But the most frustrating part of my entire visit...I buried a time capsule on May 24, 1996, to be extracted from the earth on May 24, 2006. Needless to say, when the appointed date arrived I was in Scotland. And it has stayed in the earth, untouched. So, I had hopes of retrieving it during my long stay, so one day I grab a shovel and head to the appointed spot...two trees standing apart for the rest of the woods...but, the trees are gone! A few years ago my father sold some timber from his property, it never occurred to me that they would take my trees! So I had no frame of reference to start digging. Alas, there is hope yet still. The time capsule was buried in a tin or aluminum container, so my hope is that it will be found with a metal detector. *sigh*

A Farewell to Country Living

Well, a month has come and gone and it is time for me to depart this little forgotten spot of earth. I have to say its been an interesting few weeks. I had hopes of posting more blogs, but I found myself either too depressed to verbalize the situation, or too busy to take the time to write anything.

There have been some interesting moments, like when I went into town to pay my parents' water bill. After driving around the three main (and practically only) roads in the center of Red Boiling Springs for ten minutes, fruitlessly looking for any sign that said "water" or even "utilities", I gave up and asked at the local post office. I patiently waited in line behind the post office's only other customer, an elderly woman that smelled of vodka and had the same number of teeth in her head as most households have televisions. I even bought stamps as a pretense to be on friendly enough terms to ask directions. But my efforts failed, he barely even raised his head and grumbled rough directions and pointed to the north; all I could make out was "flag pole" and "police cars." So, I drove around a little more until I found the police car (yes, the town has just one) and a flagless flag pole...right across the street from the post office, sheesh! City Hall. The thought occurred to me that the postman gave me bogus directions to either alert the locals to the presense of an outsider or flob me off onto someone else. At the risk of being sold into some redneck version of a black market sex ring, I walked into City Hall and asked the woman and police officer standing behind the desk for directions to the water department. She smiled and said, "well you found us, hon!" My response?..."Wow." She smiled again and said, "oh we do just about everything at City Hall." Hmmm...maybe they should consider taking over the post office too.

But overall, my visit has been kind of boring. I was in the house more often than not. My days have consisted of wasting the time between breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Some days I was at a loss as to where all the hours went. I am starting to believe that my parents built their home atop a portal to the space-time continuum. Or maybe getting the life sucked out of you is too emotionally painful, and those memories are still, at this very moment, being repressed.

I think once I am back in Clarksville I will take the time to reflect more upon my sojourn. Right now I am so anxious to be home that I think my opinion may be marred by my fed-upedness.

Anti-climatic Ending

Well, I celebrated the close of 2008 and the birth of 2009 in a very unorthodox manner (for me anyway)... I slept right through it. Yes, you heard it. There was no drinking, no tasty bad snacks, no party, no Wii, no Rock Band. I watched Law & Order with my parents and went to bed at 10pm.

Sad is the world.