Going With

A list of things I deem necessary to my survival in Backwater Hell:

~ 30 pairs of disposable earplugs (to block out constant TV noise playing in background)
~1 Small fan that makes lots of noise (same as above)
~1 cuddly chocolate lab
~1 Dan's Dog (part stress reliever, part weapon)
~1 desktop computer for World of Warcraft (to avoid filial interactions)
~1 laptop computer for lazy blogging
~5-6 books (to avoid filial interactions)
~1 exercise pad (because my parents have wood floors)
~1 8lb medicine ball
~1 mountain bike
~1 teleportation device

The Countdown Begins

On December 8th, 2008, yours truly will be displaced from her comfy, modern abode into Backwater Hell. Sunrise, Tennessee (see picture) is an unincorporated collection of small cattle farms, tobacco patches, and mobile homes on cinder blocks. Don't be fooled by the inset photo. When the locals (all 29 of them) aren't tipping cattle, shooting their guns at innocent creatures, or running about aimlessly on four wheelers, they are growing marijuana, baking meth in their kitchens, or committing date rape.

My parents moved to this sleepy little corner of the world in 1989. Since my parents, and a good deal of my siblings, migrated to this hellhole, their collective intelligence and ability to speak proper English has declined (and continues to do so) exponentially. Not much changes in Sunrise. Sometimes I think they are afraid to change. Its one of those places where people come to die, not live. Everyone looks as if they are waiting for cancer.

And I am to be here for no less than 30 days.